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Game On!!

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Written by: Donald Haas
Parent Category: Journal
Category: Politics
Created: 20 March 2003
After watching some of the protest footage, I finally realized why George W was so adamant about improving the country’s education system-.Jesus…how stupid can these people be. So in an effort to educate the ‘morons with the signs’ of the world here are 10 things to consider when voicing an opinion on this important issue…

1) Out of President Bush and Saddam Hussein …Hussein is the bad guy.

2) If you have faith in the United Nations to do the right thing keep this in mind, they have Libya heading the committee on Human Rights and Iraq heading the Global Disarmament Committee. Do your own math here

3) If you use Google search and type in “French military victories,” your reply will be “did you mean French military defeats?”

4) If your only anti-war slogan is “no war for oil,” sue your school district for allowing you to slip through the cracks and robbing you of the education you deserve.

5) Saddam and bin laden will not seek United Nations approval before they try to kill us.

6) Despite common belief, Martin Sheen is not the President. He plays one on TV.

7) Even if you are anti-war, you are still an “infidel!” In addition, bin laden wants you dead, too.

8) If you believe in a “vast right-wing conspiracy” but not in the danger that Hussein poses, quit hanging out with the dell computer dude.

9) We are not trying to liberate them.

10) Whether you are for military action or against it, our young men and women overseas are fighting for us to defend our right to speak out. We all need to support them without reservation…

So in closing …don’t lay down in front of my car….I will hit the gas….I hope this helps.

More French bashin’

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Written by: Donald Haas
Parent Category: Journal
Category: Levity
Created: 14 March 2003
Ahhhhh.. will the french bashing ever end?……….Nope

THE BUNNY AND THE SNAKE

Once upon a time there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. By a surprising coincidence, both were blind from birth. One day, the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down. “Oh, my,” said the bunny, “I’m terribly sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’ve been blind since birth, so, I can’t see where I’m going. In fact, since I’m also an orphan, I don’t even know what I am.”

“It’s quite OK,” replied the snake. “Actually, my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and work out what you are, so at least you’ll have that going for you.”

“Oh, that would be wonderful” replied the bunny. So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, “Well, you’re covered with soft fur; you have really long ears; your nose twitches; and you have a soft cottony tail.

I’d say that you must be a bunny rabbit.”

“Oh, thank you! Thank you,” cried the bunny, in obvious excitement. The bunny suggested to the snake, “Maybe I could feel you all over with my paw, and help you the same way that you’ve helped me.”

So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, “Well, you’re smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone and no balls.

I’d say you must be French”.

Old School

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Written by: Donald Haas
Parent Category: Journal
Category: Movies
Created: 13 March 2003
 

Old School (3 of 5)
Guy flick about starting your own fraternity-at 40. Fun premise. It was a good star vehicle for Vince and Will. Not the best teenage-sex-comedy-with-old-people, But the same level of fun as-Road trip.

Daredevil

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Written by: Donald Haas
Parent Category: Journal
Category: Movies
Created: 04 March 2003

Daredevil (3.8 of 5)
The first of the Comic book adaptations so far this year. I was looking forward to it mostly because one of my uber-babes Alias-s Jen Garner is playing Elektra. It-s not spider-man, but very entertaining none the less. Ben Affleck does a surprising good job as the blind lawyer turned night stalking hero. The hardest thing to achieve, Murdoch-s sonic sense, was both the high and low point of the film. In fighting scenes, the BLUE sense, was confusing and helped nothing. When using it to find a criminal in the subway and to see Elektra on the rooftop, pure brilliance. Jen and Ben-s fights were well filmed, but the others were shot way too close, and were confusing. A workable franchise, or two for that matter, and hopefully will get streamlined in the next edition.

Chicago

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Written by: Donald Haas
Parent Category: Journal
Category: Movies
Created: 03 March 2003
Chicago (3.9 of 5)

I love musicals, but I love the West Side Story, Moulin Rouge, and Holiday Inn type of musicals. On location live action, when words cant covey the emotion, break into a song. Kind of cheesy…but it’s what I think musicals should be. Marshall’s Chicago takes a different style, half location-half stage show, and some nice mixes and transitions in both. Most of the numbers are shot a little sporadic, but 2 or three work extremely well. Not the way I would have done it, but definitely the Fosse would have made it.

The Life of David Gale

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Written by: Donald Haas
Parent Category: Journal
Category: Movies
Created: 03 March 2003
The Life of David Gale (4 of 5)

Great pace, Great story, very good performances. I figured it out way to early, but the ride was still very engaging. Spacey was perfect as the doomed inmate, Laura Linney keeps her-hey that-s creepy- nudity streak alive. And a surprisingly unattractive Winslet keeps her clothes on in a rare, great performance. The twist is top notch, and shows the problem with the true believers of this world. Alan Parker does another great movie about the south. Kinda Liberal in nature but also shows them as kinda wacko too.

Confessions of a Dangerous Mind

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Written by: Donald Haas
Parent Category: Journal
Category: Movies
Created: 03 February 2003

Confessions of a Dangerous Mind

(2 of 5)
Director-Good (Scene changes were fun) Rockwell-Good, Story-Good as life stories go. Movie-Sub-Par. The film drags along like a Galapagos turtle. It took forever to get somewhere; segments were grainy, rough and un-interesting. Deb likened it to About Schmidt-but I wasn-t going to trash it that far-. I saw it more as an indie version of Man on the Moon. Was only playing at-The Bridge-(too far…I made a funny) or at our choice-The Pacific- So projection was going to suck-but it was a Miramax picture, how good was the image going to be anyways?

Dragonfly

Details
Written by: Donald Haas
Parent Category: Journal
Category: Movies
Created: 03 February 2003

Dragonfly (3 of 5)
Deb Tivo-d and said I should watch it, Reviewers I trust didn-t really have an opinion about the film. So I jumped in on Sunday. The story revolves around two married doctors, after a tragic accident in Columbia kills the wife while doing red cross work, she was 7 months pregnant. The husband, (Kevin Costner) who stayed home on this trip, grieves in the normal fashion until strange things start to happen. Most revolving around Dragonflies, his wife-s-token- (she even has a birthmark that looks like one). But the kicker comes when he checks into his wife-s patients on the pediatric oncology ward at his hospital. When some of her near death kids tell him that his wife is trying to communicate and to visit a symbol (a squiggly cross). To everyone else he looks like he is have a nervous breakdown, but the journey he takes will be a fruitful one. A good movie, but standard fare…no tears, no cheers.

Tax Season

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Written by: Donald Haas
Category: Journal
Created: 31 January 2003
Hey its tax season, here is a little food for thought:

Let’s put tax cuts in terms everyone can understand. Suppose that every day, ten men go out for dinner. The bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The first four men-the poorest-would pay nothing;
The fifth would pay $1:
The sixth would pay $3;
The seventh $7;
The eighth $12;
The ninth $18.
The tenth man–the richest–would pay $59.

That’s what they decided to do. The ten men ate dinner in the restaurant every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement-until one day, the owner threw them a curve.

“Since you are all such good customers,” he said, “I’m going to reduce the cost of your daily meal by $20.”

So now dinner for the ten only cost $80. The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes.

So the first four men were unaffected. They would still eat for free. But what about the other six—the paying customers? How could they divvy up the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his “fair share?”

The six men realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody’s share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would end up being *paid* to eat their meal.

So the restaurant owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so the fifth man paid nothing, the sixth pitched in $2, the seventh paid $5, the eighth paid $9, the ninth paid $12, leaving the tenth man with a bill of $52 instead of his earlier $59.

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to eat for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

“I only got a dollar out of the $20,” declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth. “But he got $7!”

“Yeah, that’s right,” exclaimed the fifth man. “I only saved a dollar too. It’s unfair that he got seven times more than me!”

“That’s true!” shouted the seventh man. Why should he get $7 back when I got only $2? The wealthy get all the breaks!”

“Wait a minute,” yelled the first four men in unison. “We didn’t get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!”

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up. The next night he didn’t show up for dinner, so the nine sat down and ate without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They were $52 short!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college instructors, is how the tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up at the table anymore.

Unfortunately, too many politicians want to exploit the differences between the so-called economic classes. That’s why they whine and screech over “tax cuts for the rich.” It’s riotously funny how they use this argument. They agree that tax reductions are needed to help boost economic growth, but they want to reduce taxes for people who don’t pay taxes anyway. And now, some of them are screaming for the rich to pay more social security tax. When will Americans learn that voting for politicians who promise to “give” them something only means that the politicians are going to steal from someone else and keep most of the loot for Washington anyway?

Ford and War

Details
Written by: Donald Haas
Category: Journal
Created: 30 January 2003
Ford Attack #456 : 100 police agencies are suing Ford for never fixing the Exploding Crown Victoria…and to think, I really liked the pinto. Mopar and GM have the reins Ford…time to pack it in. Message to CEO “Stop making 50 Shitty cars and just make 5 Good ones” (keep the explorer, mustang, escape, taurus and if you can ever fix the god damn focus…you can keep that to)

On another side note, We are not going to back down. So Bush ” THE CHILDREN HAVE THE SNIFFLES” lets get going, the camo boys are ready. We have a couple unruly kids in the playground, and we have to start spanking now. Before the good kids get traumatized…..peace out.

Gangs of New York

Details
Written by: Donald Haas
Category: Journal
Created: 14 January 2003
  • Movie Review
Gangs of New York (3.9 of 5)

Was it big? Yes, Was it Good? Yes, Was it long? Yes, Is there awards in its future? Yes. Was it the best picture of 2002..No. Martin Scorsese-s film about the draft riots of the civil war, and the gang riots for territory in New York has a huge scale and it-s all up there on the screen. Leo does ok, Cameron not so good, but Daniel is simply amazing. Broadbent and Gleason are also amazing, as usual. There are not a lot of fancy Scorsese shots in the film. Long cave walks and occasional slow-mo are the extent of it. There was more of a straightforward Amistad feel to the film, a little dingy and very dark. The shots of five points and the housing of the immigrants around it are very interesting. My biggest problems were Diaz-s accent, the plain boringness of all the second gen actors,and the lack of release at the ending. This film wonderfully builds the tension for 2.5 hours then the ending becomes so large and scattered that it loses its focus. The movie is a great piece of celluloid but not a great film. Once the riots started and the blacks blamed, the galleria audience started to get restless, but nothing to bad. Harry Knowles of AICN nailed it for me: “I was far more interested in seeing the movie that would have ended with that opening battle than the movie that began with it. “

Donism #2

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Written by: Donald Haas
Category: Journal
Created: 13 January 2003
Donism #2: Try chewing gum while peeling or cutting an onion – you will not cry.

Demo v Reps

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Written by: Donald Haas
Category: Journal
Created: 03 January 2003
  • DONism
Just so you all understand:

A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person. The Republican gave the homeless person his business card and told him to come to his business for a job. He then took twenty dollars out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person.
The Democrat was very impressed, and when they came to another homeless person, he decided to help. He walked over to the homeless person and gave him directions to the welfare office. He then reached into the Republican’s pocket and gave the homeless person fifty dollars.
Now do you understand one difference between Republicans and Democrats?

Hot News of the new year.

Details
Written by: Donald Haas
Category: Journal
Created: 03 January 2003
Only 2 days in and the some of the best industry news i have heard in a long time:

1. Cheech and Chong are getting back together to make 2 movies!
2. David Fincher will direct MI:3!
3. Battle Royal 2 finished filming
While this year was great, and I do mean GREAT!!!, Next year is gonna blow it’s doors off.

Dont believe me?……broadband users click HERE

LOTR

Details
Written by: Donald Haas
Category: Journal
Created: 03 January 2003
  • Movie Review
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers Archives - Home of the Alternative Movie  Poster -AMP-
 
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. (4.5 of 5)

When in middle school (1982-he he) this was as far as I got. And by that time I still liked-The Hobbit- the best (easier to read). So after the wonderful Fellowship I knew this one was going to be darker and bigger. I was pumped. The film was great- don-t get me wrong, but I was not as pleased compared to fellowship. Jackson still has a few issues with filming close-ups in battle scenes. But his wide-open battles are very special indeed. I loved Jackson so far and was willing to give him license with the story, but elves at helms deep? I thought the idea was that the elves abandoned the humans till Return of the King?-oh well. Arrow effects are always more fun. And what-s with the small door on the side of helms deep-jeeez. Anyways this was a great sequel and moved the story along nicely. Another good: Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli are becoming friends and brothers, not just warriors with a cause, and I like that a lot. The only thing that made me wince was the transformation of Gandolf. When he was-the Grey- he was very human and had an underlying knowledge. When he became-The White- I was expecting and all powerful, all knowing Super-Gandolf, instead we got an anti-social Alzheimer-s dude with white hair-weird. Maybe it was the artwork on the books that messed me up on that. P.S. Gollum was the bomb! He should get an academy nod (both in effects and the actor who played him)

One more side note:
Dead Zone (third best TV show last season-after 24 and Alias) starts up again this weekend on USA

IDCBU

Details
Written by: Donald Haas
Category: Journal
Created: 09 December 2002
From the “I Don’t condone but I understand” file:
A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

Flicks for November

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Written by: Donald Haas
Category: Journal
Created: 02 December 2002
  • Movie Review
Flicks I saw over the last 2 weeks:

Frida (3.2 of 5)
Story of the wife of Diego Rivera, a Mexican painter in the 20-s 30-s and 40-s. More tragic than uplifting, but the color palette in the film was amazing. Art Direction and cinematography should get a nod this February. Salma was good; Molina, Golino and Rush were superb. As well as Salma breasts which make about 6 appearances in the movie. The story was jointed and has bad flow, and was probably the reason for limited release in probably one of the hardest markets so far this year. The art to life transitions were wonderful but Amele still takes the cake on this arena. Probably would have done very well in Mexico if it wasn-t in English. Saw at the regal in Rolling Hills, Clean and bright and only adults in the theater. Side Note :Come on chick directors-you need to step it up if you want to be among the greats. Amy Heckerling is the closest but she hasn-t even broken the top 100. I think James Cameron-s ex. Kathryn Bigelow has the best shot since she is still making films.

Extreme Ops (3 of 5)
Ahhh so much potential. Seemed like a fragment of a movie instead of a complete movie. Canada-s own Christin Duguay (The Assignment, Scanners 2, Live Wire) is one of my favorite second tier directors. He is incapable of making a sub par shot, no matter what the budget is. But the is story needed about 4 or 5 more rewrites. Not that what was up there was not good…just incomplete. It-s the story of making a commercial for a Sony camcorder, showing extreme sports people using it in extreme situations. With 80 percent of the commercial done, a very cool commercial I might add, the final shot is a skier using the cam while racing an avalanche. So the crew heads off to Austria. Great shots, great stunts, great dog chase. Bad ending. Saw this at the AMC 9 in Union station in Washington DC. Boy I thought the Galleria was bad. The screen was the same size as mine-literally. They had no VOT center so they put the voices through the left speaker and the music and sound through the right. Lame beyond belief.

Die Another Day (3.8 of 5)
New Blood, New Style, New Meanness, and a New Chick. I haven-t seen bond this pissed since License to Kill. The beginning takes a new twist by capturing and torturing Bond for 14 months-all the way through the title sequence (the weakest so far-but still fun). Bring in new character Jinx and one of the best sword fights I have ever seen, and this bond is worth the price. A few hooky escapes and a lot of coincidences doesn-t make this the best Bond, but almost all the slow parts were cut out to make a fast and nonstop Bond. Saw this in Pentagon City mall in Virginia, not bad considering they were using technology from the 70-s ..old seats, old speakers, old screen.

Rams beat SD – and bad movies

Details
Written by: Donald Haas
Parent Category: Journal
Category: Sports
Created: 12 November 2002
  • Rams
  • Movie Review
Nobody got the movie triva on the DAILY FUN page-so hint #1 is up.

Rams do it again.
This was going to be one of the hard ones, SD leads there division and are playing well. We come in 5-3 with a 3rd string quarterback. We dominated this game. But every trip to the red zone-except the first one. Resulted in a fumble recovered by SD. We fell behind in the first and it just got worse til the 4th. Then something amazing happened. The Rams from 1999 showed up. We didn-t skip a beat, Issacc did his best catch ever for a touchdown. Wilkins and Bly did the most perfect onsides kick ever, followed by another touchdown strike. When the dust settled, the team I gave up on at the half performed one of the best games of the season. And 3rd stringer Bulger threw for 450 yards. Zowwie!

I Spy (1.5 of 5)
Little hint; Never see a movie at the South Bay Galleria on a Saturday when a Hip Hop (8 mile) is playing. This many black people don-t live in Redondo or Torrance. I guess since they destroyed the theaters in Hawthorne during the riots and cant find a place to park at the Pacific this is the only theater they can goto. But good god, there were 300 people in the lobby and Deb and I were the only whites there-almost in the whole mall, we apparently didn-t get the memo. Anyways-even the added excitement of 4 crying babies and Deb getting hit from flying projectiles (Skittles) couldn-t save this movie. Betty Thomas is a journeywoman director that needs a script, she didn-t get one. She goes out on a limb for no one, and that-s how the movie felt. It was very cheesy throughout, Eddie was over the top and irritating just like METRO and SHOWTIME. Owen is Owen, he has the range of a single pump daisy air rifle from the 60-s. So if you can believe he can play a RIO on an f-18 then I guess he can be an insecure spy. Chases were lame, Famke was hot, but the real surprise was Gary Cole. He was hardly used but very neat when on the screen. So it was in focus and had 3 good lines:-Smells like ass soup in here- was one, otherwise is was not worth the matinee price. I don-t know maybe I-m just bitter about writing a short story about 15 years ago about a stolen optical pass though camouflage airplane called the Chameleon, and that-s what the main spy gadget is-grrrrr!

Rams – AZ

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Written by: Donald Haas
Category: Journal
Created: 06 November 2002
Kym Cabrera from SONY Pictures guessed the Trivia Answer. THE ABYSS

flick-abyss (14k image)

Rams Win !! 3 in a row. We dominated AZ, even though the score looked close. I was down in San Diego for a Volleyball tourney and a few Birthdays. My Brother Mike wrenched his back on his European Vacation. So he was barely mobile. Anyway we went to a local La Mesa Bar to watch the game. TV-s were small but the food was good, wings above average. And the people were nice. The 20- TV with the ram game was 40 feet away, and OK for me but Deb had a hard time seeing it. So hopefully I am going to be able to stay home for the rest of the season, or cry a lot.

Stats

Details
Written by: Donald Haas
Category: Journal
Created: 23 October 2002
Site of the Week: ZippoTricks.com

Stat of the Week: Attacks on civilians by Palestinian armed groups :128 attacks / 350 civilians, most of them Israeli, were killed since the beginning of the Al-Aqsa intifada in September 2000.

All the Answers in the Movies:
1. Is the American flag over Mecca the only way to solve all of this? – West Wing
2. Nuke the site from orbit – only way to be sure – Aliens
3. Well you know what I’d Do – I’d start blastin’ – Rio Bravo

  1. Rams Round 5
  2. Rams…AHHHHHHH!
  3. Patriotism and YOU!
  4. Dodgers, Rams and Sluts…oh my!
  5. Rams Beat SEA – and Chick-flick
  6. Football and my favorite Foreign Film since Stricly Ballroom (No i’m not gay!!)
  7. Donism #1
  8. AI and BB3
  9. Aug part 2
  10. Been A Few
  11. Rams Beat Down
  12. July – My favorite Jewish Holiday
  13. Signs
  14. Austin Powers in GOLDMEMBER
  15. More of the same….
  16. Ouch!!!!!!
  17. ROF and more….
  18. Bike Route
  19. Video and Bike Rides
  20. Airwolf Found

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