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Morgan is doing better today. Seems like the fluid in his lungs is clearing up. He was breathing much better today, more on his own and not letting the machine do all of the work. Because he is doing better they restarted the feedings (at 2pm). He’ll get 3cc every 3 hours. So please say a prayer that he will tolerate the feedings and that he will POOP! :) (no poop since May 3rd) We should know when we go back tonight how well he tolerated the first 2 feedings of the day. Overall today his breathing was much better, more stable, more on his own, and he was pretty peaceful all day, except when they put the feeding tube in, he didn’t care much for that, but I gave him a pep talk and told him why the tube was a good thing, so he tolerated it.
He was awake for a long time after they put the tube in. he kept opening his eyes and staring at me, I think I fall more in love with him everytime he looks at me!
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Evening Visit Update: He didn’t digest any of his 2pm or 5pm feedings. And when they suctioned the feedings back out to see how much he digested, he had blood in his stomach, probably due to putting the feeding tube in. He did FINALLY poop – which is great – bad news is there was blood in that too. Right now they are thinking that he was injured when the feeding tube was placed, his tissues are very delicate, so injury happens easily. Feedings were stopped for today. If they are able to get all the blood suctioned out, they may restart feedings in the morning.

Good news from tonight, they are continuing to wean him off of the ventilator, his rate is down to 24 (# of breath’s per minute that the machine does for him – this is down from 36 a couple of days ago) So machine is breathing 24 times per minute, but Morgan overall is breathing 41 – 70 times per minute, so 50% is him and 50% is the machine – last night 100% was the machine. Percent of Oxygen he is receiving varies between 21% (room air) and 30%, but whenever he gets over 25% his Sats go up to 95 – 100, which is high, so he does best at 21% – 25% oxygen. Hopefully if he continues to clear the fluid out of his lungs and continues breathing well, we can get him back off the ventilator!

The hospital Social Worker shared this poem with me today. It talks about what it is like to deal with the unexpected in life, and it so cleary and perfectly captures what Don and I are going through that I wanted to share it with you all:

Welcome to Holland
By Emily Perl Kingley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability ‘“ to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this’¦

When you’™re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip ‘“ to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, ‘œWelcome to Holland’.

‘œHolland?!?’ you say. ‘˜What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’™m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’™ve dreamed of going to Italy.’

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’™ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place. It’s slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’™ve been there for awhile and you catch your breath, you look around’¦and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills’¦and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy’¦and they’™re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, ‘œYes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.’

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away’¦because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But’¦if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to go to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things’¦about Holland.

In a way Don and I mourn the loss of a “normal” pregnancy. Of those last 3 months of feeling him kick, and seeing his foot poke out of my belly, of going into labor, of being awake for his birth, of Don being there with me to experience his birth, of his being born in the summer, and not the spring, of taking him home with us when we left the hospital. And we mourn the fact that this will be our only pregnancy, and that makes it all the more sad that it didn’t have a “normal” conclusion.

But on the other side, we rejoice in the joy that Morgan brings to us, of how beautiful he is, of how sweet and special he is, of how much we already love him. And we are grateful every day that our worries for him are not great, that we don’t have to face heart surgery, or severe breathing problems, or cerebral palsy or brain bleeds.

So for now, we are happy to be in “Holland”, because it could be a lot worse. We will never get to experience the “Italy” we had planned for his birth, but all signs point to us eventually getting to “Italy” when he comes home. At least that’s what we are praying for.

And as always we are truly grateful for the love and support from our family and friends, and we continue to ask for your prayers for Morgan to ensure that he continues on his so far relatively trouble free path.

2 Replies to “Morgan Robert Haas : Two Weeks Old”

  1. I’m glad that he is doing good I love the pictures they are great it’s nice to see him. He is a deffinate trooper. I updated the prayer chain yesterday so i will pass the new news along. Will pray for his feeding and pooping. Love you all.

  2. Morgan is in our prayers. Paw Paw Doggette is saying special prayers for him. I loved the pictures and
    hopefully each day he will become stronger and stronger. Love, Fredda

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